You always hear people say that in order to have a true friendship you have to completely accept someone for who they are.  You have to accept their flaws and overlook all the bad stuff and la-dee-da, skip in meadows and hold hands and drink milkshakes while yellow canaries fly above your heads.  Love makes the world go round.  Friends are always there for each other.  Etc, etc, etc.

The reason why I have had so many shitty friends in my life is because I stuck with this philosophy for so long.

Yes, it is important to respect everyone and to have tolerance for others, but you also have to have some standards.  And I am not talking about standards that result in discriminating against other people or depriving them of their entitlement to living a fulfilled life.  “Oh, I believe only a man and a woman should marry, that’s my standard” - that deprives homosexuals the right to marry.  That’s not a standard.  That’s just plain hatred.  I am talking about standards that recognize harmful behaviors and you refusing to enable or pacify said behaviors. 

Just because you are a nice person does not mean you have to open your life up to everyone.  Not everyone deserves your efforts.  Not everyone deserves total acceptance because sometimes certain behaviors are not acceptable. 

And then people pull the whole, “Well, if you really loved me..” or “If you were a real friend”, etc, etc, etc…  Okay, okay, I have a friend that smokes crack.  I mean, this person is killing him or herself snorting or shooting or smoking or whatever the fuck people do with crack.  Their body is just deteriorating and they’re mad addicted to it and destroying their family.  Oh, but I love you and accept you for who you are and it doesn’t bother me at all that you’re addicted to crack and killing yourself because that’s true love, baby.

What. The.  Fuck?

No, seriously.  What the fuck?  I walk into someone’s house and I see cat shit all over the place and grimy stuff in the toilet and the dishes full of crap that’s been sitting there for weeks and half empty pizza boxes sitting on the couch you bet your ass I will damn sure open my mouth and bitch.  Why?  Because I have standards.  It’s not me saying I hate you and that you should die of shame for having such a filthy place, it’s me saying, look, let’s clean this place up and improve your hygiene because I cannot handle this.  It is hazardous to your health and mine, and is just plain disgusting.  That is called having standards.

And what about friends that are always in jail and dragging you into their problems?  What about friends with eating disorders?  What about friends that are addicted to drugs, depressed, suicidal, cheating on their loves ones, etc, etc, etc.  Still think we should stick by the philosophy of “Don’t change!  I love you for who you are!”  No.  Yes, we should accept each other to an extent.  Dangerous behaviors do not count.  Like I said, it doesn’t mean I’ll hate you and that you should kill yourself, but it does mean that I will express concern because I actually give two fucks about you.  All my life I’ve attracted druggies, jailbait, deadbeats, etc, and why?  Because I accepted them for who they are and always stuck by their side when I should have been smacking them upside the head and helping them get their lives on track.

Standards.  Can’t go wrong with them.  Fuck all that hippie shit.

That is all.

Written by Arthur C. McWilliams IV