If you are not the artistic genius who came up with those haunting, groundbreaking lyrics about a thousand and one ways to love but only one pure way to die, then put quotation marks around the words so no one confuses you as a sensitive, lost soul who drinks Earl Grey tea at coffee shops and always looks as if on the verge of tears whenever witnessing a wilting rose or milk being spilled on the table.  If you are not the literary madman who came up with such an agreeable yet clever quote about how we are all narcissistic bastards who think we are entitled to everything, then by all means, cite the true madman and drop the pretenses.  Nobody thinks you’re all that, not after posting Facebook statuses like “hit me up txt it muh gud 2nite”.  I mean, come on, how in the hell are you going to go from that to, “There seems to be some innate, belittling quality, one that reaches the surface and demands attention; demands that all eyes feast upon us and give into our latent suspicions, threatening to dimish our humanity and lesson of humility”?  By the way, I wrote that on the spot, see how truly artistic I am?  And if you did not participate in a conversation that involves your friend saying something  offensive and stupid and you having a totally awesome counter that pretty much should go in the Guinness Book of World Records concerning awesome comebacks to your friends’ lame ass statements, don’t write about that fake conversation and then tell a completely different story when asked about it the next day.  Anyone could tell that you obviously sat at home googling ‘idiotic statements friends make’ and posted it online as if it were your own.

Point is - nobody thinks you’re a genius.  If all you do is watch Jersey Shore and eat orange frosting, nobody is going to think you are capable of coming up with witty quotes all by yourself.  Oh, and news flash, not all of us listen to the same music you do.  When I see some brilliant lyrics that really stand out to me, I usually try to credit the person who posted it, only to find out some time later that it was written by clown-haired Rihanna or Smashing Pumpkins or whatever the hell kids are listening to these days.  Um, did they not teach you about plagiarism in school?  Just because it’s the Internet, does not excuse your responsibility of citing your sources.  You did not write that blog.  You did not write those lyrics.  You did not come up with that statement about no one being able to make you feel inferior without your consent - bitch, freaking Eleanor Roosevelt came up with that shit.  Know where your words come from and give proper credit where it’s due.  Be bold and creative enough to come up with your own shit.  Don’t plagiarize.  It’s unattractive.

That is all.

Written by Arthur C. McWilliams IV